Faux real?

Unlike Hollywood’s narrow interpretation of beauty involving inflated or plastic lips and boobies, emaciated appearance, extreme self-denial for the passage of time, and a strong desire for sameness–my observations of women who age beautifully are those who maintain a youthful look and vibe through their:

Irrepressible spirit.
Great energy.
Incredibly relaxed yet good posture.
Good bone structure, clear skin, & healthy hair.
Appropriate weight for their frame.
Intelligence.
Sensuality.
Confidence.
Positive outlook.
Individuality.

At little or no charge.

Ain’t nothin’ but a candy…

I’ve learned that women can be jerks too.

You know the ones who try to play “the okie doke.” For example, the “friend” who asks you to pick her daughter up from after care to be retrieved an hour or so later from your home but doesn’t until four and a half hours later (i.e. after 10pm on a school night). The reward for inconveniencing you and your perfect children? “You would save my life!”

Then 2 weeks later, said friend approaches you again for similar favor, but this time with a twist. Not only does she want you to pick her daughter up from after care, but now she wants to drop said child off at your home at 7am to catch the school bus at 8:05am. So that friend, can travel out of state, for a business meeting that she “thinks”she’ll be returning from on the same day. Afterall, I would be such a life saver!!!

No matter, that she knows I’d have drive all of the children to the daycare to drop my son off before even tackling the school bus.

I told friend that while I empathized with her situation–like herself, being a single parent and all, I couldn’t handle three children in the morning under such time constraints and recommended that she pay the $40 before care fee for the day. As a show of goodwill, I offered to help her with after care pick up if she was willing to observe my pick up guidelines.

Her rigid back the next day made it clear that she did not expect such a response from a lifesaver.

I guess I’m not that sweet.

Gamine by nature

After a little accident by a former hair stylist, I headed to the Red Door salon in Chevy Chase in search of damage control.

I’d been “growing” my hair the past year to…regain my sexy after a failed love affair. A year ago my ex-boyfriend, who didn’t know me when I had long hair told me that he preferred me with long hair after seeing a picture of me from 10 years ago. His insensitive comment really affected my self esteem. What I should’ve said at the time was that I understood and that I too preferred his picture from 10 years ago and what you see now is what you get! Instead, I did what many women do, I tried to change myself to please him and the relationship ended for other reasons. Since it was never really about the long hair, of course.

Anyhoo back to my story, post hair consultation, the stylist asks “so you want me to give you a cute short hair cut?” I nodded and thought briefly of my dating prospects this year. But then I remembered that before the ex. my pixie hair style seemed to attract more attention.

Later, in the ladies room, a fellow customer said “you have such beautiful eyes! I was staring at you in the other room and saying to myself how I wished I looked like that!” I was surprised and actually looked into the mirror–she was right, my features are enhanced. I left the facility full of renewed confidence, after flirting with the parking garage attendent.

My outward gamine appearance now better matches my free spirit nature.

Sometimes we need to see ourselves through the eyes of another to fully appreciate our beauty and sometimes…we don’t.

Hot legs

All my life, my breasts have been a touchy subject (no pun intended.) When I was much younger–a mere teen with a tiny frame, I was conscious of their lack of symmetry. In reality, looking back, given the amount of attention they attracted–they were likely close to perfection. Despite frequent assurances from boyfriends and even having gathered the confidence to frolick topless in South Beach Miami, I remained convinced they were somehow flawed. To me, bigger boobs were more ‘womanly.’

In fact, I became more critical over the years and the unrealistic images of enhanced breasts presented by the media didn’t help. After my second child was born my body image hit a new low. So much that I made a trip to the plastic surgeon for an evaluation. “You look to be between a 34A and a 34B.” I nodded. “I could get you much bigger breasts. Take a look at these pics.” I slowly reviewed the picture album filled with images of women with what seemed to me to be enormous boobs. “Um, aren’t these too big for me? I’m a size 4.”

The doctor confidently assured me most women wanted to go as big as possible and often returned to replace the original implants with much larger ones. “You know what they say–the bigger the better!” 

Suddenly, I became uncertain, I mean I could handle going a little bit bigger–but I didn’t want boobs anyone would actually NOTICE. I wasn’t used to my boobs being noticed anyway, afterall I had great legs. Suddenly I wondered why I was making such a fuss about my boobs–they’d nurtured two perfect children and, because of their small size were holding up splendidly against the forces of gravity. Much better than my more endowed sisters.

Now, when I see my reflection in the mirror while undressing, I’m glad I didn’ t make a drastic decision to alter my breasts. I’ve come into my own and don’t need large breasts to define me as a woman or to declare my attractiveness. Beauty afterall, is in the eye of the beholder.

Besides I have great legs.

You got the look

Plastic (i.e. “cosmetic”) surgery is fully out of the closet, gaining rapid acceptance with the mainstream, particularly the woman (and girl) next door.

As an aesthete I appreciate enhancing what you have to look your personal best. The operative word being “your,” not someone else’s ideal. Too much tinkering particularly on the face and your natural beauty, because everyone IS beautiful AND ugly, is replaced with an artificial version, as impressionable as weak tea. This artificial look has come to gain acceptance in very much the way non-organic, microwave, and fast, food have, that is until you run into the authentic versions. Lines rarely make you look old, but your carriage, attitude and spirit can. Many, though not all, beauty procedures are trends that become outdated in a matter of years. Remember facelifts of yesteryear that made its receipients look older? Surgery, on the other hand is irreversible.

Get the word out!

There is a national pre-occupation of near obsessive level for conditioning women over the age of 30 to believe that they are old. Finally, sometime around age 65, these women learn the truth. Trouble is, they can’t get the word out because everyone else is conditioned to ignoring them.